Some things are so illogical that we must laugh at them or we will cry over them. The homophobia of some parts of America falls into this category. Here, for you to laugh (or cry) about are Some Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong:
- Being gay is not natural. And, as you know, Americans have always rejected unnatural things, such as eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning;
- Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall;
- Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all. Hmmm, so women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal?
- Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed;
- Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry.
- Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents raise only straight children.
- Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That is why we, as a society, expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
- Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just as we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
